Anthony Wiener: It is a shame that there are no bagels on this table!
Bernie Sanders: Hold the Phone, Anthony, I took 'em.
Anthony: What? Why, Bernie, Why? You know I love those!
Bernie: I put em all in a bag, snuck up on John Boehner and hit him with 'em.
Anthony: Oh, OK.
John Boehner: Hell no you better not do that again!
The real reason why John Boehner said "Pass The Damn Thing" on camera recently apparently in reference to the budget.
Bruce Willis: Hey, Arnold.
Arnold S. Hey, Bruce
Bruce: Arnie, I was thinking of running for president since I don't have much else to do these days.
Arnold S. That's good news, especially since your last big picture bombed.
Bruce: Hey, take it easy on me, bro. I'm gettin' old. So, any advice?
Arnold: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.
Bruce: Hey, I'm just running for president, not joining the tea party.