Quantum Mechanic®

Me as Denis Leary, "hey asshole pick up the phone."

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After a bender as his character Tommy Gavin in Rescue Me, Denis Leary reports to the archangel Paul who is not exactly impressed.  Comedy tribute to one of the funniest comedians who ever lived, and who is still alive, believe it or not.

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Peter Falk passed at age 83

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Heard on Rep. Weiner's answering service Thursday morning, 6/16/11.

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Funny ring tone

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The mighty Goa-ould System Lord Apophis says, "Yo, bitches, my name is Apophis, and I am the Goa'ould with the gold."

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It seems the old enemy of the Stargate franchise, Apophis, a Goa'ould who fancies himself as a God, commands the Tau'ri that they must SAVE STARGATE UNIVERSE!

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"This is your creator.  I just have this to say to Harold Camping: Verily, thou sayest buckets of crap."

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Jeff Goldblum Flanderspeaking an affirmation.

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Mel Gibson reveals his true feelings about Jews.

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The Schtupinator takes out a new ad discounting his services as an actor before finally deciding to put things on hold.  Poor Arnold Schwarzenegger feels like Mel Gibson!  I still love you Arnold!

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Caught on tape, Bin Laden's last words...

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QM doing an impression of Barack Obama as superhero B-Rock Obeezy and his message to terrorist leaders around the world.

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Since getting capped by B-Rock Obeezy, Bin Laden recorded a new answering machine message

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POTUS has this to say to birthers regarding the release of his long form birth certificate.

[Comedy voice impression by QM]

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9 and half minutes of a mild thunderstorm in a small city (you can hear the occasional car drive by in the distance) in full 3D Stereo, 320kbps.  FREE DOWNLOAD to everyone.  No bullshit, just rain sounds to help you sleep.  This is something to have on your Ipod or Zune or what have you.  It fades up and fades out, so it's great to put on repeat.  If you would like a custom rainstorm, with added things like birds or waterfalls or whatever, I've been a sound guy for over 35 years and would be glad to mix you up something nice.  Just email me.  <3 you for listening!info@quantummechanic.org

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This voice clip is what audio people might call an extremely wet signal.  It's the voice impression of the 10 Commandments God, saying, "Pick up the phone...or I will smite thee!"

Great for your boss or mother-in-law, or heaven forbid, your spouse / significant other...emphasis on "other."

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Anthony Wiener:  It is a shame that there are no bagels on this table!

Bernie Sanders: Hold the Phone, Anthony, I took 'em.

Anthony:  What?  Why, Bernie, Why?  You know I love those!

Bernie:  I put em all in a bag, snuck up on John Boehner and hit him with 'em.

Anthony: Oh, OK.

John Boehner:  Hell no you better not do that again!

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The real reason why John Boehner said "Pass The Damn Thing" on camera recently apparently in reference to the budget.

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Bruce Willis:  Hey, Arnold.

Arnold S.  Hey, Bruce

Bruce:  Arnie, I was thinking of running for president since I don't have much else to do these days.

Arnold S.  That's good news, especially since your last big picture bombed.

Bruce:  Hey, take it easy on me, bro.  I'm gettin' old.  So, any advice?

Arnold: Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

Bruce:  Hey, I'm just running for president, not joining the tea party.

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