Political and Entertainment Humor Peppered With A Garnish Of Logic

PUNDITS IN A BAR 7 - Trump crashes the party

This week's cast include James Carville, Rachel Maddow, Niall Stanage, Bill Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump and special guest B-Rock Obeezy a.k.a. Barack Obama.

Carville - Looks like Bitch McTurdle's gonna go nuclear for Gorsuck.
Niall Stanage - That sounds like an alt-rock band's debut album.
Carville - More like Alt-right.
Bernie - The Supreme Court of the 1950's is making a comeback, it seems.
Carville - Gorsuck is so Nazi, he makes Steve Bannon look like Rosie O'Donnell.
Bernie - Actually he does look like her.
Maddow - Speaking of Bannon, he's been removed from the National Security Council under the tutelage of General McMasters.
Bill Clinton - Yes indeediddly doodly, and according to him, it's JOB DONE.
Carville - Guess that's how Nazis translate the word demotion.
Maddow - Good to have you back in our bar, Mr. President.
Trump - Saw your show; Low energy; bad fashion choice, explains the low ratings.
Maddow - Oh, sorry, I was referring to President Clinton.
Carville - How the hell is The Donald in here without secret service and no press pool.
Trump - Oh the secret service is here...pretending to be drinking at the bar.
Carville - You mean those guys in black downing shots in a row?  Sure doing a great job pretending to get soused.
Clinton - Well, well you guys are chatting with the so-called president, I'm gonna hit the head.
Carville - Head...did you say you were getting head?
Clinton - No no no, I'm going to use the bathroom...you know, that place where everybody should be allowed to pee no matter what gender?
Niall - Have a good flush, Mr. President.
Trump - I already went wee wee.
Niall - I was talking to President Clinton.
Bernie - Something is off here.
Carville - You got that right.
Bernie - No, really. You don't have Clinton and Trump in the same bar with us. This is not possible.
Carville - Course not. We're just too plastered to realize this ain't happenin'.
Maddow - I'm rather sober. Only one Hemingway so far.
Carville - Clinton and Trump in the same bar. Yep, we must be drunk.
Obama - I'll say. You guys look like you've had too many.
Maddow - President Obama - so glad to see you, sir.
Obama - Hey, Rachel. Sorry I never did your show.
Trump - He was too busy tapping my phone.
Obama - Seriously, Donald, nobody needs to tap you...you already say everything on twitter.
Trump - You know you did it, B-rock
Bernie - Now you know, Donald, presidents can't authorize wire-taps. That's the Intelligence Community at the behest of the justice dept. You'd know that if you paid attention in How To Be A President 101.
Trump - I learned all I need to know from my university.
Obama - You mean Trump University? That's a stretch, Donald...especially since you googled all that stuff and then cut and pasted it into a bunch of overpriced binders.
Trump - You take that back, punk.
Obama - Nope. I'm just keepin' a hunnett.
Trump - Keepin' it what?
Obama - Keepin' it a hunnett. That's what Larry Wilmore always says.
Trump - That guy's a looza. His show got bumped for some game show.
Niall Stanage - It's called At Midnight
Trump - How can you have a show called At Midnight at 11:30?
Obama - You know, Donald, you're right.
Trump - What? Did you say I'm right?
Obama - Yep. It makes no sense that a show called At Midnight should be at 11:30
Clinton - Don't nobody go in there. I took a dump so bad, it'll make Mama June skinny.
Niall - Actually, she's skinny because she went on a diet, but what do I know.
Trump - You missed your boy saying I was right about something.
Obama - Did you just call me boy?
Clinton - Right about what?
Trump - That that game show At Midnight on Comedy Central is on at 11:30. Makes no sense.
Clinton - You're right. That makes no sense.
Carville - Holy Shit, a consensus.
Bernie - This is historic.
Maddow - All 3 presidents agree on something. History in the making and me without my GoPro.
Niall - 3 presidents in this bar agreeing about a game show. I'm either hallucinating or we're in the twilight zone.
Rod Serling - Consider if you will, 3 presidents, a couple of pundits and a senator, all trapped in....THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

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