James Carville - Hey there, Niall Stanage. What ya drinkin?
Niall Stanage - It's a secret....but I will tell ye, it's about 90 proof.
James - That's my kind of beverage. Another week of insanity. Just makes me want to just sit down and compute the trigonometric parralax to Proxima Centauri on a slide rule.
Niall - Trigonometric Parralax? How can you say that sober, let alone drunk?
James - Aw, it's a load of hogwash I heard some science geek say.
Niall - Well, maybe the slide rule part but the rest sounds scientifically sound, if you're into that sort of thing.
James - Hell, we should at least get our figures straight if we have to leave this planet for another one after Trump blows it up.
Niall - I don't think anyone's built a starship that can get there any faster than a few thousand years. I'm a patient man, but not that patient.
James - I'd be willing to hitch a ride with an alien right about now. After all, them UFOs get around pretty quick-like.
Niall - They're unidentified, so there's no consensus that any are actually alien.
James - I bet some are. I wonder how the hell they get around. Maybe they alter the vibrational state of space-time in order to achieve FTL.
Niall - I never thought I'd hear such scientific chatter from the likes of you.
James - Hey, I read...unlike our current president.
Niall - Well, if there are aliens and if they can change the fabric of space using some kind of technology, why aren't they landing on the National Mall and introducing themselves?
James - Have you seen humanity? Trump would have 'em waterboarded before they had a chance to say howdy, magna cum laudy.
Bernie Sanders - Maybe Trump IS an alien.
James - I don't think aliens would be that dumb and still be able to fly faster than light.
Niall - This discussion is out there to say the least.
Bernie - So is Trump. Ya gotta wonder what world leader he's going to embarrass himself and the rest of us with this week.
Niall - It seems Mr. Trump does have a bromance with one world leader.
James - Putin on the Ritz.
Bernie - Isn't that a song by Taco from the 80's?
James - Not my kinda tune, but yep.
Bernie - Eat Drink and Be Merry is mine. (SINGS) Eat drink and be Merry for tomorrow you'll cry.
Rachel Maddow - That's the Porter Wagoner version.
James - I didn't know you were a connoisseur of country
Rachel - You'll find I'm full of surprises.
Bernie - Well, you're certainly full of something.
Rachel - Very droll, Senator Sanders.
Niall - 80s songs, trigonometry, aliens, astrophysics. I think I need another drink.
James - Don't forget black holes. Trump is like a black hole. A singularity so dense that
not even light can escape and anything that orbits it is doomed to get sucked in.
Neil Degrasse Tyson - That is an interesting metaphorical observation.
Rachel - Who knew Neil Degrasse Tyson frequents this bar?
Prof. Brian Cox - He comes here to see if I'll drink him under the table.
James - And you are?
Brian - Professor Brian Cox --- I've made a lot of science documentaries. In fact, maybe more than Professor Tyson.
Neil - Let's have a doc off.
Niall - I think you're both off.
James - Seriously, is there any escape from Trump-hole?
Niall - Not until 2020.
Bernie - If we're still a country by then. Goin on 3 weeks and The Donald has stifled all the agencies, ruled by decree, embarrassed us with Australia, pissed off Mexico and Mexico and gotten a Navy Seal and a bunch of civilians killed in Yemen.
Niall - Not to mention pissing off a billion Muslims with the Travel Ban.
Neil - Science and critical thinking will ultimately prevail.
Brian - I think we're all toast. Don't you, Niall?
Niall - As they say in that American musical, The Sound of Music....[SINGS] THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF ABUSES.
Rachel - Wow that hurt.